Christmas is often a time of joy, celebration, and togetherness, but it can also be a period of stress, pressure, and emotional turbulence. The rush to buy gifts, the expectations of family gatherings, and the desire to meet social or personal goals can overwhelm even the most balanced individuals. However, the ancient philosophy of Stoicism offers a framework for approaching Christmas with calm, perspective, and resilience. By focusing on what is within our control, embracing the present moment, and cultivating virtues like patience, gratitude, and temperance, Stoicism provides valuable lessons for navigating the holiday season.
Focusing on What We Can Control
One of the core principles of Stoicism is distinguishing between what we can control and what we cannot. The Stoics believed that the only things within our control are our thoughts, judgments, and actions. Everything else—whether it is the weather, other people’s behavior, or the outcomes of events—is beyond our control.
During Christmas, many of the things that cause stress—such as family disagreements, last-minute shopping, or travel disruptions—are outside of our control. Yet, we often expend energy trying to control these external circumstances, which only increases our frustration. Epictetus, one of the most well-known Stoic philosophers, reminds us of this in his Discourses:
Some things are up to us and some are not. The things that are up to us are opinion, motivation, desire, and action; things that are not up to us are body, property, reputation, and office.
This insight is especially relevant at Christmas. The holiday season often brings expectations and pressure from family, society, and ourselves. Instead of trying to control everything around us—whether it’s the perfect gift or the ideal holiday gathering—Stoicism teaches us to focus on how we respond to these challenges. We can control our actions, our reactions, and our inner peace, but we cannot control how others behave or the circumstances surrounding us.
By focusing on what is within our control, we can approach Christmas with greater calm and resilience. We can choose to approach the season with gratitude, patience, and perspective, rather than succumbing to stress or frustration.
Embracing the Present Moment
Stoicism also emphasizes the importance of living in the present moment. Too often, we get caught up in expectations for the future or regrets about the past. At Christmas, this might manifest as worry about the future of our relationships, dissatisfaction with past Christmases, or anxiety about what we haven’t achieved. However, the Stoics believed that peace and fulfillment can only be found in the present moment.
Marcus Aurelius, the Roman emperor and Stoic philosopher, offers timeless wisdom on this topic in his Meditations:
Do not let your mind run on what you lack as much as on what you have. For in the present moment, you have everything you need.
Christmas is a time that naturally encourages reflection and gratitude. It is a moment to appreciate what we have—our family, friends, health, and well-being—rather than focusing on what we feel we lack. By embracing the present moment, we can find joy in the small, simple things that make the holiday season meaningful, without being bogged down by expectations or comparisons to past celebrations.
Additionally, Stoicism teaches that we should focus on the things that are most important and meaningful to us. In a world that often places value on materialism, status, and external achievements, Christmas can become a time of excessive spending, social media comparisons, and superficial pursuits. However, the Stoic approach encourages us to redefine what truly matters. Seneca, in his letters, reminds us of this principle:
A wealth of material possessions is no wealth at all, but a wealth of wisdom is wealth that lasts.
During the holidays, it’s easy to get caught up in the frenzy of gift-buying and social expectations. Stoicism teaches us that the true gifts of Christmas are not material, but internal—gratitude, love, connection, and wisdom. By embracing these values, we can transform Christmas into a time of genuine fulfillment rather than fleeting pleasures.
Practicing Gratitude and Patience
Christmas is a time when people often gather with family, friends, and loved ones. While these gatherings can be joyful, they can also be challenging, especially if there are unresolved tensions, conflicting personalities, or high expectations. Stoicism provides a way to navigate these challenges with patience, understanding, and compassion.
Seneca’s letters are filled with reflections on patience and perspective. He wrote:
The greatest remedy for anger is delay.
This advice is particularly useful during family gatherings where emotions can run high. Whether it’s dealing with a difficult relative or managing our own internal frustrations, Stoicism encourages us to pause, reflect, and act with calmness and dignity rather than reacting impulsively.
Additionally, Stoicism teaches the value of gratitude, which is essential during Christmas. Rather than focusing on what we don’t have, the Stoics encourage us to appreciate the present and be grateful for the good in our lives. Marcus Aurelius, in his Meditations, wrote:
When you arise in the morning think of what a privilege it is to be alive, to think, to enjoy, to love…
Christmas provides a perfect opportunity to practice this kind of gratitude. It’s a time to acknowledge the privilege of being alive, of having loved ones around, and of being part of a larger community. Gratitude, according to the Stoics, is one of the most effective ways to cultivate inner peace and happiness.
Cultivating Temperance and Simplicity
The Stoic virtue of temperance encourages us to practice moderation and avoid excess. At Christmas, it’s easy to become overwhelmed by the temptation to overindulge—whether it’s in food, drink, or spending. Stoicism teaches that true happiness doesn’t come from excess or indulgence, but from living a balanced and virtuous life.
Seneca wrote in his Letters from a Stoic:
It is not that we have a short time to live, but that we waste a lot of it.
Rather than spending the holiday season focused on consumerism or overindulgence, the Stoic approach invites us to focus on what truly matters: meaningful connections, personal growth, and the cultivation of virtues. By embracing simplicity and temperance, we can make Christmas a time of reflection, growth, and genuine contentment.
Conclusion
Stoicism offers a powerful framework for navigating the complexities of Christmas. By focusing on what we can control, embracing the present moment, practicing gratitude, and cultivating virtues such as patience, temperance, and simplicity, we can transform the holiday season into a time of peace and resilience. Rather than succumbing to the pressures of modern Christmas, we can embrace the Stoic approach and make the most of this special time of year, finding true fulfillment in the internal rather than the external. As Marcus Aurelius wisely wrote:
The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts.
By adopting the Stoic perspective, we can ensure that our thoughts, actions, and emotions align with the values that make Christmas a meaningful and joyful celebration.